By Becky Salato, Superintendent, Konocti Unified School District
During the holidays, many of us feel bombarded by expectations. We want to enjoy the spirit of giving, but that can bring financial stress. We want to spend time with family and friends, but that can cause relationship stress. Add in a contentious political election where half of the country is celebrating and the other half is despairing, and it feels like we’re losing the comforts associated with living in a small town where we all look out for each other--I guess I’d call that social stress.
Recognize the signs of stress
So how do we manage it all? And how can we make sure our adult problems don’t add more stress to our children's lives? First, it's important to recognize just how stressed we are–and to look for these telltale signs of stress in our kids, too. Common signs include irritability and anger, trouble sleeping, changes in behavior (including eating patterns), and getting sick more often.
Identify your triggers and make a plan
The first step in stress relief–for you or your children–is to recognize your triggers. What stresses you out? Some things are within your power to change, but many things are not. However, you can always manage your response to life’s events, and this is a lot easier when you’re taking care of yourself–getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular exercise. If you’re under a lot of pressure, it can help to stop using drugs or alcohol for a while. And the best medicine of all is often to seek help and support from family and friends, whether you need someone to listen to you or help with managing the logistics of a busy life.
Put the important things first
Prioritizing your responsibilities is another way to gain a sense of control. Sometimes stress comes from the realization that you cannot get everything done, but you keep trying anyway. It can be liberating to choose which things you simply cannot do. Cross them off your list. Let them go.
Help your kids do the same
Create good habits around bedtime. Kids younger than 12 years old need between nine and twelve hours of sleep a night. Teens need eight to ten hours.
Help assure kids get enough physical activity, at least an hour a day, which can be broken into smaller time frames.
Be available to listen. Don’t try to solve every problem without first hearing them out. Allow them to puzzle through some solutions on their own and then provide some perspective and support.
Create opportunities for down time, some of which should be without a computer screen. Kids can go outside, write in a gratitude journal, or practice mindfulness. They can also pick up a hobby, like learning a craft, reading, cooking, making things with their hands.
People are mostly good
It’s important to remember that people are mostly good. We’ll keep helping each other, as we always have. If you find yourself with a short fuse, take a deep breath. If you are dealing with someone with a short fuse, take a deep breath for them.
It’s true that we face plenty of unknowns, but don’t lose faith in humanity. At Konocti Unified School District, members of our school board, our leadership team, and our staff have many diverse beliefs, but that’s okay because we all share an essential value in common: dedication to helping all students thrive.
I’m trying to stay focused on the present moment rather than worry about what the future holds. Stressing about the future only steals joy from the here and now. I wish all of you peace and love in these tumultuous times.